we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
