If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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