The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he wonโt know because my bra been off but itโs the thought that counts I guess.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
