Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
