I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
