yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
