so that wasnt chicken after all
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
