The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
