We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
