I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Say something about gay babies.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Randomize
