i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
The air taste purple.
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