Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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