This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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