doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
