You can't special order awesome
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
