and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Houston, we have a squirter
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
