well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
