Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
