I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
