Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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