So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
