i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
