kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
