thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
