as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
