Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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