Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
