I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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