Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
