Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
