Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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