I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
honey bunches of taint.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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