It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
