I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
