so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
