just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
