If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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