At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
