Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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