My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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