No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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