It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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