im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Randomize
