We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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