Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
