Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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