my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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