Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
