I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
