real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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