...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
