The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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