There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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