this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
