If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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